Make a List

I was living with my boyfriend’s parents a few years back, well, more like twenty years back, And what I took away from the experience other than an awkward time was writing lists. His dad would write daily and weekly lists, and he kept to them religiously. He would cross off each item as he accomplished it. The lists were lengthy. But he always got what he needed done and still had time for his ritual evening filled with football and beer.

I had noticed his ritual, yet I didn’t give birth to it until about 15 years later. I decided to go back to college. I was a year into it and overwhelmed, too many things to do and not enough time. One night as I sat wired from espresso scrambling to finish a final paper I remembered the lists from the boyfriend’s father. I started making a list for homework — when to do it, when it was due. The list grew adding work, finding apartment, study groups, coffee breaks, etc.

Now I live by my list. I have a list for goals — present and future, a list for daily and weekly activities ranging from house cleaning to reading, writing, groceries, dance class. You name it, it is on my list. I place a box next to the activity and if I get it done I check the box, if not I cross it out and place it on the list for the next day. I always put the more important things first — waking up, yoga and coffee. The day has to start somehow. The rest of the list will read about doctor calls/appointments, jobs and emails, housework. . . the fun stuff.

Don’t just take my word for it, browse any section in a book store or library for time management. Most books regurgitate a demand for a daily task list. And honestly to-do lists are a way of how most business’ keep chaos out the way of the consumer — menus. Menus are not just kept at restaurants, any vendor has a complete menu or catalog of their goods or services — A community center having a list of activities and where to sign up — in list format. Lists can be used for any need or goal whether personal or business related.

Keeping a list may seem daunting, and it is. Only it is one of those daunting things that ends up creating fun; Time with your kids, or to read that favorite book, shopping for nothing — shoes, cooking instead of microwaving. Thinking of to-do lists as a way of centering your focus and not as another thing to do may be helpful.

Don’t forget to be spontaneous, however, a list is only there for convenience of timeline, reminders, and organization. Make an activities list and stick to it in a way that you are comfortable. Be as lose or as agile as you feel fit for your life. Sometimes I end up doing the complete opposite of I wrote down, or just none of it and get completely side tracked… I just keep going.

My lists can get quite long, but I get everything done, usually, and I have learned that it is OK to divert a little from the plan and not be hard on myself for it. Making lists for myself has not only trained me to complete goals in a timely manner, but it has also taught me patience — with myself and others, forgiveness, and the willingness to allow myself peace in time and control over my time.

It’s catching and addictive, My life partner is starting to make lists now too.

Today

Today

Monki grey sweater
$41 – monki.com

Element shirts top
backcountry.com

UGG Australia white flat
lordandtaylor.com

Valentino bracelet jewelry
$160 – harveynichols.com

Vintage necklace
pinkmascara.com

Barts beanie hat
$30 – urbanexcess.com

What’s It Going To Take To Kill Me

I was reading something the other day, the only thing that stuck out and lingered with me was the relayed message, and not verbatim, What is it in your life which you love so much that you’re willing to let it kill you. The article was a basic run down on jobs, work, hobbies and living one’s life under the regard of love. After reading this, even days later, I wondered what in this world do I like doing so much that it transfers to love — I love it so much that it will kill me. Not literally stick a knife through my heart, but what is it in this world that I will do no-matter-what because I love it so much, I will die happy doing it???? Never minding rejection, time, payment, etc.

As I continue to ponder this killing love, I can’t help but think, “Duh Corrie, Writing.” But is that what I really want, I don’t know, because lately I have not been writing. In fact the more I focus on My Love, the more I can’t write. Nothing comes to mind, and I feel like, “Who would want to read it anyways.” Perhaps this is my problem. I don’t feel it, I don’t feel that what I have to say or write about would matter to anyone but me — when did that start to weigh in.

At this point in my life my writing is all I have to work with, it’s the only thing I can think about, and it’s not just a thought any more. It has manifested and taken over my brain. My mind space feels so small.

I keep saying over and over again, “Write Corrie, write. Write something, anything.”  I am almost sure that I am not the only writer in this world who comes to this point in their journey. However, others keep going, get published and make a career out of it.

Am I scared? Do I not have the confidence I thought I did? Am I changing, or dying inside? Why do I not take the bull by the horns and go for it, give it my all. In the past I lived life by the seat of my pants and wrote about it. Why is it different now? If I love writing so much why am I ignoring it, running away from it? And what is it going to take to let it kill me?

I suppose if I am going to let it kill me, I should stop running from it — easier said than done I’m sure, however, I must not be too far away. The daunting thoughts about practicing and exercising my muscle (writing) are grabbing at my heels. I am realizing that running away is slowing me down, weighing me down, making me more still and lifeless. What do I want, the writing to kill me or the thought of it. When presented in those terms, seems like the choice I will make is obvious. Right?

I’m at my crossroads, let the caterpillar turn into the butterfly.

Upon the Hour

1

Natasha laid on a red velvet couch smoking a cigarette her friend Ashton sat opposite of her on a matching couch. Ashton’s computer sat upon her lap. Natasha was blowing smoke rings into the air and poking her finger through them. Ashton looked up from her computer, “would you please open a window?” Ashton held her shoulder length hair up in a messy bun and a scarf wrapped around her head. She was beautiful, flawless skin and soft bone structure made her look younger than she was. “I don’t mind you smoking in here, but I cant stand the smell. Light that candle over there, fuck, light ‘em all.”

“OK bossy.” Natasha got up and opened a small window over the sink in the very small kitchen. She put the smoke in an ashtray on the table, pulled a box of matches form a kitchen drawer and lit four candles sitting on the table, she also moved through the apartment and lit several more candles. “How’s that for ya.”

“Thanks. It is so nice to have a night off, but I swear trying to learn this social media thing is going to take me longer than one night.”

“What are you talking about?” Nat flipped her long brown hair up into a high mesh bun. She sat the table and opened a large cigar box. It was older than God, and had a barbarian man looking figure sketched into the top. Nat pulled a small green jar with a cork lid and rolling papers from inside and set it out on the table — she starts rolling a joint, “looks like your running low, should I call Harry over?”

“I guess.” Ashton was only half paying attention to Nat.

“How much should I get?” Nat licked the joint together, laid back down in her original spot. She lit the joint and started smoking, forgetting about the phone call, she passed it to Ashton who didn’t notice. Nat shrugged and kept going. The smoke rings came again, heavy in form. White as clouds at first look but as you saw closer the blue lining was circling in slow motion, swarming inside the white cloud making marble like waves. The smoke drifted and swirled through the light of the dim lamp creating animal figures.

There was a knock at the door. It came again. And a third time, “Fuck, answer the door Ashton.” Nat didn’t move. The knock came again and louder, “Ashton, the door.”

“What, oh, sorry. Did you call Harry, I mean, was he in the building, that was fast.” Ashton fixed her skirt. She opened the door as much as her head would allow, “Ahh, Hi.”

“Hi. Um, I am your neighbor, 6B. I locked myself out, and I was wondering if I could use your phone?” The voice was deep and low, however, it got Nat’s attention. She looked toward the door from her lazy settlement.

“I, yay, Um, hold on.” Ashton started to close the door but the stranger stuck his foot inside the door jam.

“Can I use the phone inside?”

“No, I don’t think so, its a cordless.” Ashton moved his foot with hers, she noticed his steel toe boots, dirty with white scuffs. She retrieved the phone from an un-made bed behind the couches. She went back to the door and opened it a little wider, handed him the phone and shut the door. She opened it again, “Knock when you’re done.” She closed the door again.

“What are you doing?” Nat was lighting another cigarette and texting on her cell phone, “I am ordering a whole ounce this time, I’ll pay for half of it.”

“OK.” Ashton stood by the door, starring off into space. “Maybe I should go to the library and get a book on this social media thing, This is my next learning step. Why didn’t anyone tell me about the importance of internships when I was in college. I am going to have to go to grad school, but it so much money…”

“I cant believe you just handed him your phone, what if he takes off with it. I would have turned him to the street, what a loser.” Nat, copying him, “Um, I locked myself out.”

The knock came quick and loud jerking Ashton from her daydream. She opened the door so fast it swung open wide and knocked her back off her feet. She stumbled and caught her fall. Natasha giggling in the back ground.

6B reaching forward, dropped his bag just inside the doorway to catch her fall, realizing she didn’t need the help, he retreated back to the hallway. “Thanks.” He said. His blue eyes sparkling. He shoved a hand through his thick black curly hair and smiled. He smelled like roses.

“Yes, yay. Ok, hope you get into your place.” Ashton shut the door and went back to her couch.

“He is actually kinda hot Ash.” Nat flipped through a magazine before flopping back on the floor. she picked up her purse and grabbed a makeup bag. “I am getting bored. What do you want to do tonight?”

“Waiting for Harry.”

“Oh god, I almost forgot again.”

“I need to get a book or a quick lesson on how social media works and how I can up my readers, get more flow on my blog.” Ashton takes a big gulp from a mug, “Uhk, cold coffee. You think Harry will do a Starbucks run?”

“Only if they serve whisky.” Nat said. The two girls laugh. “So whats up with 6B? Should we slip him one of our cards and party with him.

“Noooo, weird. I don’t think I want anyone in the building to know what we do. I live here, you don’t, remember.”

Bang, Bang, Bang.

The two girls freeze. “What was that?” Nat stopped filling her nails.

“I don’t know, sounds like down the hall…6B, Maybe they had to break the door in.” Ashton said. “Oh my gosh, I found a PDF of this book, ‘Social Media for Dummies’, I am so downloading this.”

The two girls were stopped again by an even louder bang. “That was a gun shot?” Nat said.

“NO, it wasn’t, how, how?” Ashton ran to the door and looked through a peep hole. “Oh my god, Uh, Oh my god. There are two of them they have masks on, running to the elevator.”

Nat got up from where she had been lounging and stood next to the door. She went to open it and Ashton slammed it shut. “What are you doing?” Nat asked.

“What am I doing, what are you doing, are you crazy.” Ashton’s eyes were wide and her heart was racing faster than ever. “I just saw, I just witnessed, what the fuck just happened?”

“I don’t know Ashton, let me out and see.” She opened the door and Ashton slammed it shut again. “Ashton, watch it, you almost got my fingers.”

“No Natasha, what if the killers are still out there? They will see us.”

“Oh my god, Ashton, what are you talking about, you don’t know—“

“I know what I just saw, I am going to call the police.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

They didn’t have to, the sirens were getting louder.

In With The Old

20141019_150711SHOES

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JEWELRY

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HATS

                          20141019_141955    even more hats — you must know my weakness by now, accessories. My boyfriend is so happy I left the credit card at home, I could have broke us this weekend.

LA’s October, 2014 Vintage Fashion Show was held on the second floor of the Reef.

20141019_151046  The aroma of roasted coffee and the sound20141019_154152 of hip beats filled the open air of this lofty space. Red leather couches lined down the middle divided the room as well as giving way for a spot to rest tired bodies and heavy shopping bags.

Local and traveled vendors displayed their goodies in fashionable arrangements for great ideas and visibility of merchandise. 20141019_142822 I circled and looped the floor two maybe three times to make sure I was able to see everything. There was vast variety of periods to choose from. Not only clothing and accessories but one could acquire vinatge magazines and literature about vintage fashion. 20141019_14545720141019_150851 I had my favorite spots picked out by the end of the day!!

20141019_153904  Maude Lady Vintage, brought to you by Jaclyn, is mobile. She restored a vintage camper into a mobile vintage clothing store. What a great idea. Jaclyn has put a whole new spin on boutique shopping. If you are having an event, she can come to you!! Maude Lady vintage is innovative and the future for “fashion carts”. 20141019_151156     From the wine valley comes Barbara Grigg, Vintage Fashion. Her store is full of classic finds; silk, furs, gloves, hats, shoes. Next time Im wine tasting I will be looking for her.

Susie Londoner, Vintazia Vintage, has an eclectic display of vintage and her own designs. She is launching her own line and w20141019_141112ill holding a “launch party” where she will give out small prizes and take orders. Her line is carefree-inspired using light weight materials and funky designs, including pantaloons.

Even if you can’t buy anything, the Vintage Show will inspire design and fashion taste for anyone, and of all ages. I can’t wait for the next one in 2015!!

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